Paul Ryan Introduces Health Care Coupons For All
Racine, WI
U.S. Representative? Paul Ryan of the 1st Congressional District in Wisconsin announced today that after much criticism he is re-branding his health care voucher proposal in his document "The Roadmap for America". Health Care "Vouchers" will now be known as Health Care "Coupons" or HCC's.
When asked about the change, Ryan elaborated. "When I introduced the Roadmap for America I included a section that would phase out company subsidized health care coverage. Most workers get their health care through their employer and I think this system has to be replaced. Costs have been shooting up over the years and all of those cost increases aren't good for business. For that reason I've decided to focus those cost increases back to where they belong - individuals. In order to do this, I will eliminate the tax incentive for businesses to provide health care coverage to workers and then after employers drop their health insurance coverage, I would give everyone a voucher for up to $5,500 to purchase their own health plan."
"The problem with this system is that people found out that the average health insurance policy costs $13,000. By only providing individuals with $5,500 that got some people upset! Honestly I didn't think anyone would actually read the Roadmap so in that aspect I'm honored. Regardless, this caused something of an uprising in my district. People like getting their health coverage through their employer and having them pay for part of it. That's when it occurred to me: What do people like better than their health care coverage? Getting a deal!"
That's why I'm changing the name of the Health Care Voucher to Health Care Coupon. Everybody loves coupons. The great thing about coupons is that no matter how expensive something is, if you have a discount for 30% you'll think you just got a steal!
Take my wife for example. She saw a pair of jeans at Macy's for $250. Now, there is no way she would ever purchase jeans for that much money - that is until she got a coupon in the mail for 25% off. With 25% off, how could she possibly say no? She went from spending $250 on jeans to saving me $62.50 by buying the jeans. I feel richer already. That's when it hit me. Even with a really crappy deal like my $5,500 voucher for a $13,000 plan, I could probably get away with it if I called it a coupon instead. I can tell the country I just saved them money! Look at how expensive this health care is and how much money I saved you Wisconsin!
The other advantage of calling the health care voucher a coupon is that there is a good chance that grocery stores might start selling health insurance. They already have banks, optometrists and pharmacies. Why not health insurance? My hope is that on double coupon days, consumers can stop into their local grocery store and pick up some health care coverage with their milk at a heavy discount. Imagine the marketing possibilities! I'm already in talks with Walmart about it.
These are free market solution that America needs. The budget deficit is out of control and America is going broke. With my plan, The Roadmap for America - we go from spending money on health insurance to saving money on health insurance.
So check your Sunday paper and start clipping away! Are you down with HCC? Yeah, you know me!
